So here I am, working on my application for Clinical Pastoral Education (heretofore “CPE” for conciseness’ sake), and I discover two things:
1. Writing about yourself is not nearly as easy as you would think it is, and
2. When you’re applying for something, you can’t help but think you’re doing it wrong.
CPE is a wonderful program that allows future pastors to go work in hospitals or nursing homes or what-have-you so they can gain experience with pastoral care. I’m really bad at talking to people I don’t know, so it should be a good experience. But, seriously, why do I have to tell my entire life story—but not the whole thing because it’s supposed to be an application and they don’t have the time to read that novel—in order to get placed somewhere to do this? Shouldn’t “I am planning on becoming a pastor and I need particular attention paid to X to help round me out” be enough? It would certainly save some serious time.
I’m a bit of a perfectionist, too. So when I look at this application and it says:
“A reasonably full account of your life. Include, for example, significant and important persons and events, especially as they have impacted, or continue to impact, your personal growth and development. Describe your family of origin, current family relationships, and important supportive social relationships.”
Okay, that’s easy enough to talk about. But, wait, what do they want me to talk about first? Is there some kind of particular thing in the “for example…” category they really need to know to put me in a particular location? I know there’s stuff that seems important to me, but maybe it’s not really that important in the long run to help them get to know who I am. But then, if it’s important to me, it says something about who I am. But I don’t need to write that much! It’s too much for a simple application!
And that’s just the first question.
Did I mention this application is due Friday?
I had this same problem with my candidacy essay where I was supposed to write about my “Faith Journey.” Well, at least that was pretty clear on what they wanted. “Tell us about how your faith developed.” It was nice and straightforward, and it still took weeks for me to figure out how to word just what was going on with me, faith-wise. And that’s the second question in this application. So, wait, am I supposed to not talk about my faith development in the first question? Would I be rehashing the point if I did? But if I leave out my faith development in the first question, doesn’t that imply that it’s not a “significant and important event?” I’m gonna be a pastor, man! It’s important!
Chillax, Lucas. We can be pretty sure the application is just an outline, and they’ll ask the questions they want clarified in the interview.
But it has to be perfect!
Y’know what, not really.
And so on. I might make it to the end of the week with this application filled out and my sanity intact, but I can make no guarantees.
Stumbling with God 